Creating intention- Not Just for Yoga Classes Anymore

In many Yoga classes, teachers will ask students to create an intention for their practice that day. An intention of less stress, understanding, health, healing, peace of mind… whatever is needed, in the hope that through the practice of Yoga, the student might find the intended quality bubbling up through the breath, the movement, and the mindful attention of formal practice. By keeping an intention, or aspiration, active in the mind and present in the heart, things begin to change.

Most of my suffering is created special, just for me, by my mind. As I was preparing myself for A Year of Compassion, it became really, annoyingly, clear that a lot of reason there is a lack of harmony in my family is my, ahem, er, well… tendencies toward control. That might be putting it mildly. It appears that I believe that Erick should think and act exactly as I expect him to think and act. Especially when I am eating a lot of sugar, or not getting enough sleep, or when there are lots of stressful things happening, I like for Erick to mirror me. Exactly. And damn it. He never gets it right.

Now this, Yoginis, is a set up for pain.

This desire for Erick to be who I think he “should” be stems, I think, from fear and feeling off-balance. It might reflect my feeling of not being in my element. There are probably other things this desire to control is indicative of, but, no matter. The antidote is available, even if I don’t know all the reasons I want Erick to eat with his left hand instead of his right…

And it begins with an intention. My intention to know Erick and Clara as they are and not as I think they should be. My intention to develop a gentler and happier relationship with myself. My intention to soften, to open my heart, moment by moment, to what is in front of me, without the smog of fear clouding my vision. My intention allow clarity to guide my response.

Intention is not just for Yoga classes, intention can shape our lives. I challenge you as the New Year begins to choose one of your own favorite methods of creating suffering (we all have them) and decide how you want it to be different. Create an intention and write it down, post it where you can see it, read it often. Meditate on it when you are cooking dinner, breath into it when you are taking a shower, bow to it when you recognize you are suffering yet again. Laugh, and reconnect with your intention.

It doesn’t have to be difficult, nor does it require adding another bullet to your to-do list. In fact, everyday life, with it’s diaper changes, telephone repairmen, bad traffic and cranky family members is where all the good stuff happens when you are working with an intention. Don’t save it for the Yoga mat.

8 Responses to “Creating intention- Not Just for Yoga Classes Anymore”

  1. Missy Says:

    Nice post. An intention for me this year is PATIENCE. I’ve been trying to really experience situations from the point of view of a toddler or an 11-year-old and be patient when they don’t respond like reasonable adults — what silly expectations I have!

  2. lilalia Says:

    Oh, I loved, “And damn it. He never gets it right.” I had such a laugh. No, I am not laughing at you, but at the absurdity, the craziness of marriage and family. We are such imperfect beings, aren’t we?

  3. Gypsy girl Says:

    Wonderful and inspiring post!! I love it!! I thought you must know my husband when you said “He never gets it right.” …or maybe you know me?? HA!!
    Intentions are a wonderful thing and the way you expressed to keep being aware of them…cooking, shower, breathe it in, bow to it…just perfect!! Thank you,
    I wish you peace, love and laughter
    GG

  4. Melissa Says:

    I get the whole control thing. I have that with my own family. I’d like to be able to let it go but it’s so hard for me - feels like I am completely out of control. But honestly, I think my intention for this year should be patience. It’s something I never have enough of and I’m pretty certain that just a little bit more would find me handling my life with a little more grace than I’ve had in the past. And I’d really like to be graceful.

  5. the mama bird diaries Says:

    I must confess, I have never really understood that intention thing in yoga class. But today you have given me some clarity. And I’m so glad to not be the only Miss. I-want-to-control-everything in the room. Thank you for this!

  6. Shannon Says:

    Wow, this is truly helpful Nona, because I am probably an even bigger control freak than you! I expect Joe to understand my every thought (and be in agreement with each) at least 100 times a day…Glad I’m not the only one and thanks for giving me a bit of inspiration to change, one little controlling expectation at a time…

  7. Everyday Yogini » Blog Archive » Openhearted Clarity Says:

    […] of creating intention, I got this email today from Carrie and Danielle, which I learned about from my friend […]

  8. Everyday Yogini » Blog Archive » Everyday Parenting- Meltdown 2008 Says:

    […] you see how wiley and smart the Universe is, supporting me in my intention for 2008? Even as I was breathing through my anger, my touchstone words bubbled up. I knew I was in the […]

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