Everyday Yogini

I haven’t written a post about parenting for a long time.  We settled into a groove, and everything was just status-quo.  But last week, something changed, and you know how when circumstances change, it’s an opportunity for reflection…

Last week was the end of Clara’s time in Italian preschool.   This week, her new Finnish nanny started.  I was anxious about this transition because Clara had been telling me that she didn’t want to play with the nanny, she just wanted to go to work with me. (Uhm, that’s a “no”)  Clara has historically taken lots of time to warm up to people, and we were jumping in, feet first, yesterday with 7 hours of non-stop nanny time.

I didn’t know what to expect when I got home.

Well let me tell you, Yoginis.  A Clara I haven’t seen in I-can’t-remember-how-long greeted me yesterday when I arrived home.  She couldn’t wait to tell me about all the fun stuff she had done with Heidi and how much she loves Heidi.  Her eyes were shining, she was enthusiastic and excited!

FANTASTIC!!!!

The sense of calm and relief that I felt was palpable.  I feel so good today.  Confident and at peace with our decision to hire a (very expensive) nanny before school starts in the Fall.  I am amazed at the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there.

Although Clara’s Italian school was fine, the truth is, I was never entirely comfortable with it.  As time wore on, I just got used to it, but honestly, I’m not sure that the kids really did much.  At the end of the year I was presented with a “workbook” that “Clara” had done- CLEARLY the teachers had done almost all of the projects.  It made me angry and sad that they really, honestly, tried to pass it off as my daughter’s handiwork.  Not that my daughter isn’t brilliant, but, honestly.  I like HER artwork the way SHE does it:  with the creative energy of a three year old, not the perfection of an adult.  When I would ask her what she did at school, she never answered me.  Now I suspect that it’s because they didn’t really do anything, sadly enough.

This morning, as I left the house, Clara and her lovely nanny were dancing in the living room.  Clara had just asked her if they could make party hats today and Heidi gave her a wholehearted, “Yes” as I was closing the door.  As I was walking toward the car, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for all the blessings that have literally been showered on my family.  It is amazing how when all is right in the world of my daughter, I can feel gratitude bursting from every cell in my body.  Although I’ve been grateful for the many experiences and circumstances we’ve had, I didn’t realize how, in many ways, my gratitude practice has been an exercise in forcing myself to look at all the good things we have been given.  But with Clara transformed into the happy, content child I remember her being, my heart can rest and accept all the wonders of our life in a way I just couldn’t before.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 5th, 2008 at 2:47 am and is filed under Everyday Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.