Everyday Yogini

Now this is the BEST New Year’s gift I can imagine! Getting my internet connection up and running in less than two weeks in Italy! Italy! The land of it-takes-six-months-to-get-your-internet-connected Italy. My husband is a genius and loves me like nobody’s business… so here I am, connected and operational in my new home with all our boxes unpacked! Don’t be fooled, we are waiting for a shipment of stuff from our old home in Colorado, so the truth is, we have a kitchen and bedrooms and no living room furniture. No matter. We’re here!

Seeing as I missed the last week of gratitude practice, I am just going to share my last bit of 2007 gratitude here, if you don’t mind. It’s been two weeks full of good things sprinkled with, honestly, not-so-good, but hey. That’s just life.

-First and foremost, it is so wonderful to have my things! My THINGS. My pots and pans, my pillows, my blankets and towels. My plates. My canned beans. Oh, and let’s not forget all my herbs from Penzey’s. It is such a treat to have the stuff I love!

-Remember my aspiration for a Grumpus-Free move in? I really kept that in the forefront of my mind as the move unfolded. Through four separate moving crews and, get this, having a HOLE ripped into our ceiling by people working upstairs, I was able to keep it light, take it in stride, and, for the most part, be in the moment. By the third day of unpacking, I can’t say I was feeling like Miss Sunshine, but this was, by far, the kindest, most peaceful move-in Erick and I have ever shared.

-It is a personal tradition for me to get a wall calendar from Heron Dance, one of my favorite organizations. This year, my calendar will hang on one wall, in one house. Unlike my 2007 calendar, which hung on four walls, in three cities. Okay, yeah, change is the only constant, but really. That’s just a bit much, don’t you think? In any case, this year, one wall, one city, and one big sigh of contentment from this Yogini.

-Ever since having my gall bladder out in 2005, I’ve had episodes of pain in the same place (how annoying is that?)! In the last 6 months I’ve had two episodes that were bad enough to find me seeking medical care. One of those episodes was this last weekend. I was in the hospital for two days, but because the medical care here is so good, they actually figured out what is wrong (which they never did in the States) and, WOO HOO, they are going to fix it!

-I’ve never left Clara overnight. Ever. This is my home girl. You can imagine how worried I was when I left her in the middle of the night to leave for the hospital. I was more worried about that than the pain I was in!! Clara did great and was such a trooper! What a wonderful thing that this didn’t happen in DC- we didn’t know anyone who could have cared for Clara in case of an emergency like this. We are so very fortunate to have people in our lives who can be here in minutes to help out.

In the middle of unpacking when I was feeling a tad irritated with Erick, I sat down to write in my journal instead of taking my control issues out on him… this is, ultimately, what it came to:

“Why can’t we afford ourselves and others the same open-hearted hope we extend to children? Instead of assigning qualities as permanent character flaws, perhaps we could take the long-view and appreciate that qualities that might seem immutable, will, inevitably, change. Just as the picky toddler transforms into the adventurous teenager, time is the friend of growth and change for all of us.”

May this coming year be your best year- may the changes you wish for yourself, your community, and our world become reality as time marches forward…

Happy Solstice, Yoginis! Since I will not have internet available on Saturday, the 22nd, I thought it would be nice to celebrate the shortest day of the year with our Gratitude Practice 2007. In the spirit of Kristen, at Green Style Mom I am changing up my gratitude list to mimic hers this week!

-I get to celebrate the holidays unpacking our things. I am so fortunate to have a beautiful place to live with my family (and all our things), in safety and warmth this holiday season.

-I get to spend time picking up lots of pine needles. We are lucky enough to have found a Christmas tree this year (they are hard to come by here in Rome) which is so fun, since Clara is so excited about the holiday for the first time.

-I get to recycle lots of boxes and packaging from all of Clara’s gifts. We are blessed to have enough to give Clara anything she needs and lots of things that she just wants.

-I get to be without internet connection for a while. This will give me an opportunity to focus on some other projects not related to being online!

-I get to wish my extended family holiday wishes by telephone this year. Thank goodness for telephones and email so I can stay in touch with the people I love most!

And I leave you with another quote this week, this one from Thornton Wilder:

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

I look forward to reading all you are grateful for next week, so write it up and link here:

Clara’s favorite book right now is Where the Wild Things Are. She loves it when the trees start growing in Max’s room and he sails across the ocean to the land of the Wild Things.

But the part she loves most is when they all celebrate Max as King of the Wild Things and they have a wild rumpus, or, as Clara insists, a wild grumpus! I just love every time she says it! I always think to myself, “I am so familiar with having a wild grumpus!” I imagine a grumpus as those days when my bad mood runs rampant over everything….

Today we are moving and my intention is to keep it light. To stay out of my need to control how everything unfolds. There will be things broken, there will be things that don’t go the way I think they should, but, for everyone’s sake, I am going to avoid having a wild grumpus and leave that for the Wild Things at story time.

So, I finally did it. I broke down and bought the ever-present Italian grocery cart. But I didn’t buy just any grocery cart, oh no. I bought a Foppapedretti grocery cart. I am in LOVE, Clara is in love, Erick is in disbelief over how much I spent on this thing.

It goes back, it goes forward, it folds up really small, it has a frozen food compartment and, the handle folds down so Clara can see over the top and push it. In fact, She sets her big bunny in it and pushes him around the apartment like it’s a special bunny buggy! It is SUCH a multi-functional item!

Best of all, now I will blend in with all the fashionable Italian women shopping the markets with their carts. Except maybe I won’t be wearing stilettos.

Speaking of Italy, we are finally, FINALLY- after seven long weeks- moving into our permanent apartment. Merry Christmas to us! We will be surrounded by boxes and happily unpacking to Christmas tunes next week while Clara works through her not-so-small pile of holiday booty…

However, as unbelievable as this may sound, my dear husband tells me it is going to take a month (a MONTH????) to get the internet connection set up in our apartment. Yoginis, I have no idea how often I will be posting! Hopefully I will quickly find a work around because I would miss the blogging dearly if it were to truly take a month…

In the meantime, might I suggest subscribing to Everyday Yogini by email? That way, you are sure to get your Yogic inspiration….
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May your holidays find you surrounded with your favorite people, in your favorite places, eating your favorite foods, feeling your absolute best!

Compassion, by it’s very nature, requires us to be mindful. In order to be compassionate, or, to bear the suffering of ourselves and others with the intention of alleviating that suffering, we must be alive to ourselves and the world around us…

Before Clara was born, Erick and I talked at length about how we wanted to raise our children. How we would set boundaries, what kind of discipline we would use. One of the guiding principles that we decided on was to choose three ideals to shape actions in our home. Those three principles are kindness, honesty, and respect. Instead of telling Clara, “No hitting!” We say, “It’s not respectful or kind to hit others.” That way, she doesn’t have to remember rules that might seem arbitrary to her, but instead has a framework for her choices and behavior. (Please note, I strive very hard for this. It often doesn’t happen this way, certainly not as much as I wish it did!)

Erick and I certainly model respect and honesty with each other and with Clara, but really, my kindness and compassion could use some work. Especially in high-stress times, I become impatient with both Erick and Clara and although I wouldn’t qualify myself as a meanie, I’m not always pleased with my behavior- and neither is my family.

But lucky for all of us, I have signed up for a year long course on living more compassionately. I found Laura’s site when I signed up for World Yoga Practice Month. Her story really struck a chord for me (you can read it here) and knew immediately I was going to participate.

So, whether it’s year of the pig or the monkey, I do not know, but I have declared this my personal Year of Compassion, and there are so many good reasons for me to do this!

First and foremost, having Erick and Clara in my life makes me want to be the best possible version of me I can be, and I’m pretty sure I have lots of lifetimes of learning left before I’m declared perfect! Second, this totally lines up with my happiness pyramid (see it here)! Third, I believe that in order to teach, it is essential to keep learning and last, this program, by the looks of it, encourages finding your own answers, which is completely in sync with my belief that we all possess our own answersif we pay attention.

If you are curious, head over to Laura’s website and check it out. Interested in signing up? Let’s start a group! Just want to get the newsletters? Right on! They are free… Just want to live vicariously through me? Stay tuned, the year of compassion is coming at you, right here, in 2008!

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I am a big believer in giving back locally and globally in whatever ways speak to me, especially after I spent many years feeling paralyzed by the amount of suffering in the world that could use my attention. In any case, one of the concepts that has really grabbed me is Microfinance. From what I’ve read, it is one of the most effective ways to empower poverty stricken areas around the world to create independence.

Every holiday season, I look for an organization to give some money to. This year I was ecstatic to find the organization, Kiva. Here is what their website says, “Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can “sponsor a business” and help the world’s working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you’ve sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back.”

Is this not the coolest idea? When I was searching around for ways to volunteer my time, I really wanted to find a microfinance organization that could use my business skills. I couldn’t find a way to volunteer my time virtually in microfinance, however, I am so excited to be able to give some of my money to Kiva! I love the fact that I can follow the project and see the direct results of my contribution, and, when the money is paid back, I can just reinvest it in another project! Brilliant!

If you have any interest in supporting this work, please go to Kiva and sign up today!

Monica and I met during the time I was living in the DC area. Aside from being one of my favorite people, she is a well-spring of information and wise-counsel. What I love about her teaching is that is it so in line with being mindful and present to the ‘real meat’ of our lives! Here is a “taste” of Monica’s philosophy as we head into the Holidays and the New Year.

Monica, what led you to Health Counseling?

I was “the fat kid” growing up and I struggled with my weight up through college and beyond. After I graduated, I began working in the field of public health communication on childhood obesity issues. There, I researched and read numerous books and articles about nutrition. I attended anti-obesity meetings and press conferences. I was fascinated by the way that people are so influenced by the media to eat packaged and processed foods. I began to clean up my diet and started to exercise more. When I trained for my first marathon, I realized more than ever how what we eat affects the way we feel both physically and emotionally. That’s when the food-body relationship “clicked” for me. Between my work and my own quest to be healthier, I pursued more books on nutrition and health and pretty soon, I was the “go-to” person in my office and with my friends and family for nutrition advice. I still felt like I didn’t know enough and I was hungry for more information so I looked into programs for registered dietitians, but nothing really resonated with me. Through a friend, I heard about the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and decided to enroll in their professional training program. While participating in the training, I knew that once I graduated, I wanted to help people discover their own journey to better health and to nourish them along the way.

What do Health Counselors do? What sort of issues would a typical client come to you with?

Health counselors offer a variety of support. I offer one-on-one counseling, group lectures, and teleclasses (interactive lectures on various topics held on the telephone). Primarily, I guide people to make better food choices within the context of their lifestyle. A single college student will get different recommendations than a working parent with three children or a corporate worker who travels most of the year. I also help individuals and families balance their wellness in other ways—I can coach people if they have problems sleeping, are lacking in exercise, or with their personal relationships. A typical client may come to me with a desire to lose weight, with binge eating or body image issues, or because their energy level is low and they don’t know how to cook healthfully. I believe that there’s no one “right” way of eating for everyone, and we each have the ability to find that way within ourselves. I simply help people find their own path.

You talk about Primary and Secondary foods on your website. Can you explain these concepts?

The food that we eat—eggs and rice and asparagus—are secondary foods. They nourish our bodies physically, and choosing healthful secondary foods helps us to balance our body—our cells, hormones, and organs. Primary foods are the things that nourish us emotionally—such as our work-life balance, our relationships (family, friends, romantic), our spirituality, our creativity, etc. When one or more of those primary foods is out of balance, then it can throw off our well-being, and it can make eating healthy foods quite challenging. When someone has a serious fight or break-up with a significant other, they may console themselves with cheesecake. When someone is working 12 hours a day and barely has time to sleep let alone cook, they may be surviving on vending machine snacks and caffeine to keep them going. I help people regain their primary food balance so that eating healthy secondary foods becomes much easier.

What are some ways that we can focus more on Primary Foods?

The first step is realizing that you deserve to have your primary foods in balance—you deserve to work at balancing them. Working on yourself to make your life happier and easier is extremely important and something that we all should do—after all, the better we take care of and love ourselves, the better we can take care of and love others. The second step is to identify your primary food imbalances. You can do this by journaling for a few minutes every day—pour out your thoughts and let them flow with no judgments and restrictions. After two weeks, read over your entries and see where there are common threads of consistent stress or imbalance in your life. Finally, make an action plan with simple, specific steps to work on pulling that imbalance back to a place that would make you happier and healthier. Be realistic and give yourself doable deadlines. And remember—you’re worth it!

Monica, the holidays are just so difficult for people, food-wise. What would be your suggestions for dealing with the pressures of this time of year?

One of the things that I tell my clients who are worried about the holidays is that “all foods will exist tomorrow.” We tend to have a “last supper” mentality when it comes to holiday foods, when in reality there isn’t any one food that you can’t have on February 19th, May 1st or any other day of the year—so why do we feel the need to eat so much of it during the holidays? Once you realize that this isn’t your very last chance to eat stuffing or pumpkin pie, it loses some of its appeal. Also, make sure to stay very well hydrated, and never go to a holiday party or sit down for a big meal extremely hungry. Eat a fiber- and protein-filled snack beforehand, such as an organic apple with 2 tablespoons of sunflower seed butter (like peanut butter, but made out of sunflower seeds, which are a great source of Vitamin E and magnesium). Having that filling snack will allow you to enjoy the foods without eating too fast due to hunger. Eating too quickly doesn’t allow you to listen to your hunger signals and you may end up overeating as a result. Chew slowly and enjoy each bite mindfully. Finally, take 10 minutes every single day for yourself. You could take a walk, stretch, take a bath, read or do the crossword. Taking time for yourself will reduce your stress, which is a major cause of over-eating.

I would like to thank Monica for sharing her expertise and knowledge with us! I love talking with her about food, life-balance, and family!

To receive Monica’s free monthly e-newsletter, find out more about working with Monica, either in person or by telephone, or attending one of her teleclasses, go to: Your Intuitive Health.

Can you believe it’s already the fourth week of Gratitude Practice 2007? Have you noticed any changes since beginning our weekly practice?

Although we’ve been sick this week, it’s been a week filled with goodness. In fact, today, we had the great good fortune to attend a children’s Christmas party at Villa Taverna, the residence of the US Ambassador to Rome. It was fabulous fun, with children overrunning the place, Santa overseeing the presents, and lots of elves handing out cupcakes (of which I did not eat a one- which I am ecstatic about!).

Not only was Clara able to play with some kids her age and run around, but Erick and I met some new people and I got a lunch date for the coming week! Slowly but slowly, I find my way here…

Here is a picture of my two favorite people enjoying the festivities today:

And, with much gratitude, I am pleased to report, as you might have guessed from the picture, Clara is beginning to feel better. Granted, getting her very own Dora the Explorer Binoculars from Santa, may have had something to do with the enormous, happy smile. Or, maybe it was just being with Mommy and Daddy and having a really fun morning together.

Have I mentioned how much better I feel without sugar? I am on day five without it and even Erick today commented on what a difference it makes and praised me for staying away from the sweets at the party. I felt like a kitty getting scratched behind the ears! I was practically purring.

While we were eating breakfast, I also boldly asked Erick to participate in WoYoPracMo with me! So, we’ve decided to make it a family affair with 10-15 minutes of Yoga together at 6:15 every morning! Since our little gal wakes up at the dot of too-early every morning, we are going to take advantage of it! I am so happy to share the experience with both of them…

Being a big fan of collecting quotes, here is another from Melody Beattie to close for today:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Share your gratitude for today or the week here…

Erick is sick. A little headache and a cough.

I am sicker. I have a stuffy nose and a little cough.

Clara is sickest. She has a croupy cough, a fever and bronchitis. This poor kid can’t catch a break I tell you.

Fortunately for everyone involved, Mommy (that’s me) is on day four of not eating sugar, so I am feeling particularly calm and patient and loving and unnaturally okay with my lack of sleep. I am very much here today. And it feels really good, sickness and all….

Today, I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes on mindfulness:

“Fundamentally mindfulness is a simple concept. Its power lies in its practice and its applications. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally. This kind of attention nurtures greater awareness, clarity, and acceptance of present-moment reality. It wakes us up to the fact that our lives unfold only in moments. If we are not fully present for many of those moments, we may not only miss what is most valuable in our lives but also fail to realize the richness and the depth of our possibilities for growth, and transformation.”
— Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. p.4

To be honest, getting to Rome wasn’t easy for me emotionally. I went from a really comfortable situation with a great support system, built-in volunteer opportunities, a community I cared a great deal about, lots of kids around, my own house, a large yard and playground in front of self-same house, with the Rocky mountains being a close neighbor, etc. It was a dream come true for me.

But, my husband hated the job he had there.

On the other hand, we saw him a lot. We ate dinner together 90% of the time. We did lots of fun stuff together outdoors. In my estimation, he had great work-life balance.

Except, again, he hated his job.

Then, this opportunity for Rome came along which meant two moves in quick succession and putting Clara into full-time daycare. It meant doing lots of things that I am not fundamentally good at, namely, being social, being tactful, and learning a new language. I was exhausted within a few months of getting to DC and we hadn’t even gotten to the goods yet (meaning Rome)! I was also seriously grieving having to leave behind Colorado.

So now we’re here and it’s fun and, just like any place, there are things I love and things I don’t love. But I’m still trying to figure out where I fit in the picture. Or really, how I want to fit in the picture. Hence, my need for a visual blueprint of what’s fundamental to my happiness… I am a person who needs reminders.

So, the pyramid: the fact that health an wellness is on the bottom of the pyramid does not indicate for me that I spend the majority of my time on myself, in fact, what it means is that without my health and at least some time for myself, eventually, it all falls apart. Our bodies, minds, and spirits only have so much savings we can withdraw.

What I love is that a lot of the stuff that keeps me healthy, I can do with Clara or Erick or friends or all of them! Cooking, eating, and exercise are three great things that work in all the areas of my pyramid. Some of my fondest memories in the first year or two of Clara’s life are of walking almost every morning with a friend and neighbor who also had kids. The kids would happily (most of the time) enjoy the scenery from the comfort of their joggers while we got to chat. It was fabulous! Also, the time spent with my Mommy group was, for me, essential to my health and well-being, but also felt like an indulgence.

The two things that I grapple with most right now are how do my writing and teaching fit into our lives (without taking over too much of my time)? And, how involved do I want to/need to be in my husband’s job to stay connected to him yet keep my sanity? How do I do these two things and also keep us all plugged in, since his job keeps him so busy now?

So this year, for me, on very important intention is to find our family balance again. Trying to figure out where we each fit into this new picture. This is a pretty abstract intention for the year, but it’s so important for us.

Some more concrete New Year intentions/goals that came to me from doing this were the following:

-Slowly, slowly I must let go of sugar (level 1 and 2). It doesn’t work for me and I’m just not the kind of person who can have one cookie. An sad and unfortunate truth. If you are the kind of person who is naturally moderate, I envy you. The luck! Why level 2 as well, you might ask? Well, because I’m intolerable to my husband when I’m eating sugar.

-I want to incorporate Clara into cooking meals more often. She is old enough now to start working with me in the kitchen and, since she is at school part of the day, that will be a great way for us to reconnect after school (level 1 and 2).

-I am going to take on some private clients (as I’ve mentioned). For now, just two, and see how this impacts the balance of everything (level 3). Although I need to be mindful of the time it takes, I will continue to blog and write and see where that leads, too.

-Travel! This is our opportunity! I have a list a mile long of places we need to visit while we are here… plus, that supports family time (level 2 and 4)! Win-Win!!

So, although it’s a pretty circuitous route to get to a few goals for the year, the point of creating the pyramid is that I want to spend the great majority of my time on the things that I will look back on fondly and with pride as I get older.

Boiled down to it’s essence, my happiness and fullfilment revolve around relationships, and being fully present with the people and experiences in my life. My husband is always telling me he thinks that I will look back at this time as one of the highlights of my life. He may be right. But I suspect it will be more for the experiences we share as a family (including the food, of course!), and the connections we make as we build a community here in Rome and less about the glamour of our position.

Be well, be happy, and be mindful into the holidays and beyond!